Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Have You Ever Wanted To Take Your Words Back As Soon As You'd Said Them?
It seems all too easy to open one's mouth before engaging one's brain. When that happens the words flow out and seem all too likely to hurt someone. Have you ever said something and, as soon as you'd spoken the words, wanted to snatch them back because you had callously hurt another person's feelings?
# posted by WDavid @ 6:12 PM 
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I've done this twice and grievously hurt the feelings of close family members each time.
The first was at Christmas about seven or eight years ago. I was sitting in my room working as usual and Peggy tooled down the hallway all happy and cheerful and decked out in clothes I'd never seen, red and black and frilly and just totally unlike anything I'd ever seen her dressed in before. The first words out of my mouth we "Well, don't you look like the whore of Babylon". The look on her face and the tears in her eyes turned my heart to ice. I'd never wanted to crawl deeper into a dark place than that moment. She spun around and changed clothes faster than you might believe and I burned inside for the hurt I caused. I'm sorry, Peggy.
The second time was just last night. Chunnan asked me to proof read his next Toastmasters speech. It was a take off on a sportscaster relating a badminton game (Chunnan's recently been playing in weekly badminton matches). I hadn't even got half way through the text when I pronounced it boring and said that it didn't make sense. I tried to backpeddle and apologize at once but the damage had been done. He's a braver man that I'll ever be just to get up there and give speeches in front of a crowd of people, but to do it in an adopted language...well that would be like me trying to climb Mount Everest, and all I could do was tear him down. I slept alone last night and I deserved it... and much worse... for my insensitivity. I feel like a slug who deserves a good salting. I'm sorry, Chunnan.
The moral of this story is pretty obvious...think about what you say before you say it. Be kind and helpful at all times and in all you say because once you've spoken there's no taking it back no matter how many times you say "I'm Sorry."
The first was at Christmas about seven or eight years ago. I was sitting in my room working as usual and Peggy tooled down the hallway all happy and cheerful and decked out in clothes I'd never seen, red and black and frilly and just totally unlike anything I'd ever seen her dressed in before. The first words out of my mouth we "Well, don't you look like the whore of Babylon". The look on her face and the tears in her eyes turned my heart to ice. I'd never wanted to crawl deeper into a dark place than that moment. She spun around and changed clothes faster than you might believe and I burned inside for the hurt I caused. I'm sorry, Peggy.
The second time was just last night. Chunnan asked me to proof read his next Toastmasters speech. It was a take off on a sportscaster relating a badminton game (Chunnan's recently been playing in weekly badminton matches). I hadn't even got half way through the text when I pronounced it boring and said that it didn't make sense. I tried to backpeddle and apologize at once but the damage had been done. He's a braver man that I'll ever be just to get up there and give speeches in front of a crowd of people, but to do it in an adopted language...well that would be like me trying to climb Mount Everest, and all I could do was tear him down. I slept alone last night and I deserved it... and much worse... for my insensitivity. I feel like a slug who deserves a good salting. I'm sorry, Chunnan.
The moral of this story is pretty obvious...think about what you say before you say it. Be kind and helpful at all times and in all you say because once you've spoken there's no taking it back no matter how many times you say "I'm Sorry."
I once asked a pregnant lady when the baby was due, and found out she wasn't pregnant after all. Won't do that again.
Thanks for the apology David. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt. Your opinion of me has always been important. However, I forgave you long ago.
Seems like I wrote about this a long time ago.
As Your Words Flow
Whatever you say, wherever you go,
someone is listening as your words flow.
The person you are, the views you share,
the love you have that shows you care,
it all comes forth in what you say
or what you write along the way.
So be creative, be gentle and kind,
be bold or adventurous, but always find
a way to show love and faith and hope
in a world where so many just can't cope.
Never allow the words you share
to hurt or anger, defy or dare.
Treat others as you would want to be treated.
Say nothing to make them feel defeated.
Build them up. Don't tear them down.
You too may need friends as life turns around.
So let your words smile, and laugh, and play,
then save a few, and kneel, and pray!
Yes, I've spoken words I regretted many times. I guess that's part of why I'm normally such a quiet person with few words to say.
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As Your Words Flow
Whatever you say, wherever you go,
someone is listening as your words flow.
The person you are, the views you share,
the love you have that shows you care,
it all comes forth in what you say
or what you write along the way.
So be creative, be gentle and kind,
be bold or adventurous, but always find
a way to show love and faith and hope
in a world where so many just can't cope.
Never allow the words you share
to hurt or anger, defy or dare.
Treat others as you would want to be treated.
Say nothing to make them feel defeated.
Build them up. Don't tear them down.
You too may need friends as life turns around.
So let your words smile, and laugh, and play,
then save a few, and kneel, and pray!
Yes, I've spoken words I regretted many times. I guess that's part of why I'm normally such a quiet person with few words to say.
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